This is the moment you've been waiting for!
For the past eight days, you've been anxiously checking the blog for news on ELIZABETH, the story that will represent Yours Truly in the Paradox Books Short Story Contest. You've been composing complaints in your head, putting off posting them for hope that today there will be news.
Wait no more! Exclusive to readers of Life, the Universe, and Nothing In Particular, is the full text of the second draft of ELIZABETH by Yonatan Alexander. It can be read here and now here!
The fun doesn't stop here! Not only can you be among the first to read ELIZABETH, you can actually influence how it will (hopefully) appear in print in the Paradox Books alternate history anthology that will be published sometime this year! From this moment until 7:00 PM Israel time on Monday, January 20, 2014, you can send in your thoughts, (constructive) criticisms, and suggestions by commenting on this post! After that deadline has passed, I will incorporate any suggestions and redress criticisms I think are legitimate and can be implemented in the story without changing it significantly. I will also try to respond to all comments between now and the deadline.
You can, of course, comment after the deadline (and it will be appreciated) but you are strongly encouraged to do so before the deadline.
So what are you waiting for? Click on the link, read the saga of Lady Elizabeth Marsham and Sir John Wrexham, and be sure to post your thoughts in comments on this post!
See you soon!
Bonus!
Thought of the Day: History isn't written by the victors. It's written by Wikipedia.
second paragraph line 1: should be nature of men, what you have is correct i just think men sounds better
ReplyDeletetheater puppet isn't really an expression
maybe say coal or something dung is like the opposite of eloquent
why stark white sand? why not just a stark white island in a sea of darkness
what does truly drowned mean why not just drowned
ReplyDeletein the 4th to last paragraph of page 2 maybe don't say "somewhere" it doesn't sound like the rest of the story maybe say "i know not" or something like that.
i had known not i known but only briefly, and maybe say the other girls not a hundred because a hundred makes him sound like a jerk and not a sensitive young man that you're trying to portray.
the third to last paragraph is phrased really oddly maybe look that over theres also an odd period there.
Thank you for your suggestions. Some of them have been implemented.
Delete